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Small Madam



“Hmmmm congrats oh, hope you guys have chosen date?” I looked puzzled till she pointed at my finger, ‘’oh, the ring, mchew, it’s a fancy ring oh” I laughed innocently. ‘’that’s how they’ll be saying until we see wedding pictures’’. Sigh. I had just ordered a set of rings from aliexpress so I wore a particular one which I found really cute and because my ring finger was the one it fit, I wore it on it. I wasn’t going to take my ring off because someone wishes to eat my jellof rice real soon. I got stares from other colleagues who didn’t have the courage to ask and from customers who probably thought I was too young to be married as most of them mistook it for a wedding ring as I later realised that evening.

I was on my way home passing through my normal route – bread seller > filling station > igbo/ibo guys selling chargers, earpiece etc > bikers etc. I planned to replace my earpiece that evening as the one I had was bad so I was haggling then the guy said ‘’madam, your husband go dey try” I smiled and said ‘’abi?’’



It got me wondering about the respect accorded married people regardless of their age compared to that given to unmarried people. It’s easy to attribute their ‘’unmarriedness’’ to their attitude or something they seem to do wrong forgetting that not everyone wants to be married anyway so we all have that choice in the end.

I was an engaged/married woman for a day and respect for me suddenly increased. When did marriage ever become a criterion for earning people’s respect? Me, a smallie turned madam overnight so suddenly people can attribute my good appearances to my husband and praise him for managing any of my shortcomings.

I’m still unmarried though with the ring off.

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