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Small Madam

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Thank God I'm Not The One

She died in labour, “Oh my God, can’t imagine, thank God I was not the one’’. She failed her exams, “Ehyah, thank God I passed mine once’’. I can go on and on. Tragedies befall people and I’m not saying you should wish you were the victim, far from it. If life was a movie, it’ll definitely end as a tragi-comedic one. Some will end up smiling, some dead, some sad and alive.

A lot of us are not exactly sympathetic about what happens to other people as long as they don’t affect us directly. We’re more gladdened by the fact we’re not the one affected but have you ever stopped to think for a minute “what if I was the one?’’ Errrr no, as long as it didn’t happen to us, it’s as good as not happened at all.

I’ve seen a lot of cases where people are very confident that some of the challenges people face will never happen to them but sadly, it eventually does happen to them in like seven folds or more. It has made me realise that anything can happen to anyone. No one is too super to face challeng…

Yo Fam!

Family = FAM, I Love You (lol, I know how that sounds too). So let’s get to it, what does it mean to be fam? These days, you see people say ‘happy birthday fam’, ‘what’s up fam’ and all other fam-related sentences. After much observation, I’ve decided to define fam as someone who is either blood related or non-blood related who you share a lot with, trust, fight with and for, and very loyal to.
Who can be fam?
Being fam isn’t a gender thing, anyone can be fam. Your girlfriend or boyfriend can be fam only if you have mutual friends and they get along well with your blood relations. Your blood related family can be fam provided they have the fam qualities which being blood isn’t one of.

Basic fam rules
   vAlways make sure that the person you consider fam thinks you’re fam too. It shouldn’t be one-sided.   vYou should be able to insult (yab) fam without them taking offense. However, never insult fam during an argument or a fight. Insults should only be playful.   vYou should never think of fa…

Some ''I Do'' Reasons

Some of us want to get married someday for different reasons. Some seem logical while some do not; it’s all about our perspective. Long story short, of all the one million reasons to get married, which would inspire you or rather, will be the reason behind your getting married?

For love; A lot of us want this until we find out that love can’t pay bills. Lol, I’m kidding. No, not really. But yes, this happens and this is definitely why I’m getting married because they say love conquers all (I heard you say ‘’if I hear’’).
For money; It’s better to cry in a Lamborghini than be trekking thinking about your life. For this reason, a lot will rather go for #teammoney than #teamlove because ‘’who love epp?’’ Didn’t the Bible even say even say that money answereth all things?
For connections; Connection is more important than money, so I heard. We want to make or keep that connection no matter what it takes so if I have to marry Dangote’s son to get some kind of connection, no wahala (apologies…

Once Upon A Bike Man

On my way home sometime last week, I stopped this bike-man and told me how much he’ll charge so we haggled. We eventually concluded that I’d pay 80 naira instead of the 100 naira he asked for with the condition that he’d pick up someone else. I was cool with that. He tried picking up someone else but the person wanted to pay 70 naira instead of the 80 naira he was charging me. I thought it was a good deal because he’d get to get something rather than stand the chance of no one else going towards our direction therefore getting only 80 naira instead of 150. It was simple mathematics and common sense to me but he refused to see it that way.

It was an ‘integrity issue’ like one of my friends would say. He didn’t want to stray away from what he said or purposed in his heart. He wanted it his way or no other way regardless of what he stood to lose or gain. I’ve heard people say stuff like ‘I’d rather go hungry than ask him for money’ and many more statements relating to that. It sounds like…

Why I Broke Up With Pulpy

So I didn't really break up with Pulpy, I just decided to stay away a little. Sigh, I know you're curious to know the full story so I'll go straight to the point. We had this training at work that centred on saving, investing and re-investing and all I could think about was my darling five alive pulpy. I thought about how much I've spent on it since I fell in love with it. It was love at first sight and it has become my aphrodisiac. But that hasn't been my only unprofitable investment - there's been my unnecessary earpiece/hands-free buying as a result of my being a music freak and I'm almost incomplete without it. Sadly, I've never really been fortunate with getting original earpiece so I keep replacing them every time one ear stops working or it stops working altogether.

All in all, the speaker urged us to focus on actual needs not wants. Like stopping our DSTV subscriptions and using our phones to record cartoons from neighbors houses then play it for…

Catch Them Young Indeed!

I don’t know if this is a rant but this is something I take very personal. I might be a feminist but I like to state things the way they are regardless of whose side I’m supposed to be on. So this guy posted on facebook about how females these days are just about slaying here and there and they’d only date a guy for money because they assume that a relationship is a job opportunity. He ended his post by advising guys to catch them young instead. By them, I mean girls. He advised them to go for secondary school girls who are loyal and na├»ve because they will make better partners. He said other things too but those are the statements I chose to center this article on.
I’d like to declare that I don’t blame the guy in any way. What do you expect when some females totally depend on a guy for everything? Some girls even get paid salaries just for dating someone so his outburst is totally understandable. What I don’t agree with is the generalization. Some, maybe majority of females are all …