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Dear Jennifer, Where Did You Get That Ass From?

Dear OTTH readers, hope you all had a nice weekend because I had the best weekend of my life that I've not had in a long time. I rested a lot, watched a lot of movies and ate a lot too, you know the feeling yea? I was going to write about love and money until I saw Jennifer(not her real name though) and I said I'd write about her instead. Let's just say I'm in the "amebo" mood but I really need your honest opinion when I'm done telling you everything I'm about to.

If you know me well, you'd know I have a lot of sexy friends and I'm not jealous of their shape or size coupled with the fact that I don't look bad myself. I'm saying this so you won't think I'm jealous of Jennifer's ass (permit me to use the word "ass" throughout this write up). Let me tell you about Jennifer. Jennifer is the first child of her parents, she has a little sister and a little brother. Her mum owns a school while her dad is a lawyer but he's based in Abuja while the rest of them stay around. I and Jennifer don't stay far from each other but we're not friends. I don't like having friends around where I live so we just say hi to each other, nothing more. Well, there was a time she and my brother were friends until God-knows-what happened.

I had always known Jennifer to be a very slim person (lepa) but very tall too and her ass was as flat as flat itself. She remained slim with a flat ass until something I can't explain happened. Imagine seeing someone last week monday and you see the person in the next two weeks looking way bigger than he or she was. That was Jennifer's case, I saw her after two weeks and she had added some weight with a very hefty ass. The ass was like an entity on its own, it practically walked behind her. It got worse, it kept growing bigger and bigger, she even had to bend to walk like it's heavy or something(she still bends till date). I mean, who goes from looking like a toothpick to looking like a...(can't think of any word). She's slim now but the ass is still the same. Ever since the sudden transformation, everytime any of my siblings or even I see Jennifer, she becomes a topic for discussion. According to rumor, she used a butt enlarging cream that had the picture of Nicki Minaj on it and it worked obviously. How else can we explain it? Except if she's willing to explain how but who even explains stuff like that so I guess we'd just have to stick to the only explanation that made sense. She's not so fine anymore and when I see her, all I see is "ass, ass, ass, ass, ass...*in Big Sean's voice*".
Her ass is thrice this size and I'm not exaggerating
On a more serious note though, if you want the Nicki Minaj booty, just go get it the way she got it but all these local pills to enlarge the butt? Who does that, besides, I heard the pills usually have an adverse effect on the internal organs of the body. Jennifer was already "set" before this transformation because what dude wouldn't like a tall, slim bae who doesn't have too much boobs or ass? I've not met such a dude although we have guys who like fat girls and all but she was almost perfect, she had the stature of a model until she thought she needed a truck or trailer for an ass. I'm just going to stop here before I give out too much information but really, where did the ass come from if the rumor about the pills are untrue?
Apparently Jennifer's role model but sadly she doesn't look like this


Facebook - Odusola Aanuoluwapo
Twitter - @odusolar
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