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The Zone-ing

Dear OTTH readers, I hope we're fine. It's almost weekend, Yaaaay, for those who don't work on weekends though. I postponed the posting of my article on love and money again because I've realised that there's an issue we need to clarify. It might sound very funny but we all need to know the zone we belong to in a person's life.

When it comes to zoning, I have experience because I have zoned people and I've also been zoned by people and I'm sure I'm not alone on this one. Raise your hands if you've never zoned or been zoned *lowers glasses*, I see no hands so I guess we're even. There are different types of zones, they are;

Heavenly Zone-ing

This is when you and a member of the opposite sex share the same birth date and as a result can't date because it is believed by one of the two people that sharing the same birth date means you were siblings in heaven hence any romantic relationship would be counted as incest.

Brother/Sister Zone-ing

This is when a person regards a girl/guy as her/his sister/brother because of her/his protectiveness and counsel he/her gives which only a brother or sister can give in most cases. The possibility of a relationship working out is very slim since it would be seen as incest.

Mother/Father Zone-ing

This is when a person regards a girl/guy as her/his mother/father because of her/his protectiveness and provision of basic things the other party needs which only a parent can give in most cases. The possibility of a relationship working out is very slim since it would be seen as incest.

Bestfriend Zone-ing

This is when one person can't date the other because he or she sees them as bestfriends and believes that going into a relationship with your bestfriend ruins the friendship because you already know too much. Besides if he or she dates the partner, he or she would have to look for a new bestfriend which is a long process no one wants to go through.

Pastor Zone-ing

This is when one regards the other a pastor because of the word of God and prayers he or she shares with the other party hence that person plays the role of a pastor and it involves no promotion except with divine intervention.

Colleague Zone-ing

This is when a guy restricts his relationship with a girl or vice versa based on the organization. Chances for upgrade might be very low depending on the organization's policy regarding romantic relationships between workers. 

Friend Zone-ing

This is the most popular and widely used zoning. It is when one likes the other just as friends, no strings will be attached since you being the friend is supporting your friend in getting a good partner. That partner can't be you.

Cool-guy Zone-ing 

This is when a female considers a guy to be a cool person she can hangout with or gist with when she's bored. This makes you an option to chill with when all else fails.

Funny Guy Zone-ing
This is when a girl see a guy as her clown, someone to lighten up her mood when she's down or make things lively when it's not. Chances to upgrade are very slim since your job doesn't involve any form of seriousness hence you're not a serious person to be with romantically.

Bus partner Zone-ing

Here, You would usually hear something like "we are just bus partners, we enter the same bus". There's hardly room for upgrade in this category.

Handy Man Zone-ing

This is when you can fix everything and as a result are tagged that way. Upgrade isn't so difficult in this zone if she's around while you fix so you can chip in one or two compliments or create a conversation, whatever works for you.

Replacement Zone-ing

This is when someone likes you so much but he or she is in a relationship already so you are kept in the replacement zone just incase something goes wrong with the relationship. Some people don't mind this zone since it makes them feel like there's hope that something would happen between they and the zoner.

Friends-With-Benefits Zone-ing

This is the most sought after zone by guys recently, they don't want to be that guy who makes you cry or the guy who makes you smile, they just want to be the guy who's shoulder you cry on when the other guy makes you cry and other things are attached to it. They get the whole package without signing up for a full-time relationship and if they like you enough, you get financial or material gain out of it.

There are lots and lots of zone but these are the major ones I know. Know your zone today so you'd know where you stand in someone's life, if your zone isn't here, create it because no matter where you stand in someone's life, you're in a zone. You just need to know what zone it is so you can either increase or decrease your expectations from that relationship.


Facebook - Odusola Aanuoluwapo
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