Yesterday, I Saw Sorry.....

Dear OTTH readers, I hope we're great because I'm super. This isn't my usual writing style but I don't know where the inspiration came from so here I am telling you all about my encounter with sorry. By all means, enjoy.

Yesterday I saw sorry and we had a discussion, a long one. I told him I was sorry for over-using him, yes, sorry is a HIM to me because I'm female. I told him how I was letting him go after over-usage if such word exists but you get the point I guess? I refuse to be sorry just because I'm expected to be sorry even though I don't deserve to be sorry. I refuse to be sorry for being who I am, I refuse to be sorry for making the decisions I have, I refuse to be sorry for doing things I've done even though they're bad because the sorry doesn't change anything especially if I didn't do the bad against anyone but myself. I refuse to be sorry because I choose to or not to behave in a particular way.

I refuse to be sorry when I know I did no wrong. I refuse to be sorry just because being sorry would make you feel better. I refuse to be sorry because sorry would make you love me again. I refuse to be sorry when life gives back to you just about what you put into it. I refuse to be sorry because you are sorry. I refuse to be sorry because everyone is sorry. Yes, I refuse to be sorry for the good things I do or at least I think I do. I refuse to be sorry for the way I think. I refuse to be sorry for how I look. I refuse to be sorry for what I eat. I refuse to be sorry for what I wear. I refuse to be sorry for what I think. I refuse to be sorry for where I go to. I refuse to be sorry for who I talk to. I refuse to be sorry for not being sorry.

Inspite of all I said, I'd be sorry when my words and actions actually offend you directly or indirectly. I'd be sorry when I hurt you and even when I'm aware and you let me know and I agree that I have or I can see that you were hurt even if it wasn't intended because I love you and I don't want to lose you. I'd be sorry if I took a step that didn't make you proud of me as long as it was a bad step for me too. I'd be sorry for not being sorry when I was supposed to be sorry.

Dear Sorry, I'm sorry I said I'd be letting you go earlier because I just realized that I cannot do without you because I'm the most imperfect person I know which means I'm going to hurt other people and hurt myself as well. When I said I was sorry for over-using you, I meant it and from now on, I promise not to use you unnecessarily. I'd use you only when you deserve to be used so you won't lose your value. I'm all about making amends. I don't want to hurt you anymore. Sorry, I'm sorry.

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12:54 pm, December 01, 2015

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