Hunny bunnies of mine, how was our weekend? Mine was okay because I rested a lot better than before and I loosened my hair as well and I just discovered that my hair is actually longer than I thought so I guess my wife material has increased, lol. I was going to complete one of my write ups for today's post but then something happened which I decided to write about instead. Here it is;
So Dami and I, my family friend who I refer to as my child though he's wayyyy bigger in size but of course I'm older *pops collar*, we went in search of a salon where I can "re-touch" my hair because I don't have a permanent stylist around here unlike everywhere else I've been to. We eventually found one and you know the way salons are, never a dull moment because there's always something to see and listen to. It didn't start so interesting though because it was just Dami, I and my stammering-stylist. One thing led to another and she told me about her "baby" who's in 200 level coming home this week from school. I don't know why I asked but I shaaa asked if that was her only child then the story came out. Ghen ghen!
Her husband left her to go "abroad" in the year 1993 when her "baby" was just nine months old and came back sometime in the year 2011 and went back not long after and hasn't come home again ever since. The story broke my heart and I had to put myself in her shoes but I didn't let her sense the pain since I didn't say anything and she didn't sound pained. She told me people advised her to remarry but a "good christian" shouldn't do that and also, the fact that he was sending money for his child's upkeep was enough for her. I sensed that she was quite content with her child been well taken care of but I could sense the vacuum that was left unfilled by the one whom she used to love.
I thought about it and asked if I'd remarry if I were her but then I thought about what women see marriage as these days. By women, I mean our mothers not ladies like me. Women these days don't care about love in their marriages as long as the man is taking good care of their kids. It makes the whole concept of marriage unappealing to me because what's the point of getting married to someone just for the sake of love and what do you get? Wayy lesser. I don't blame them most times because leaving a marriage is hard especially when the man is performing his fatherly duties but it's the woman who suffers emotionally and most importantly, sexuallly.
I'm not an attention seeker naturally but if we must be together, then I must have your attention and participation in whatever I do. I won't be able to speak on behalf of every female since we differ in our desires but I think we all want attention to an extent. Even if we're not talking, I still want your attention however you may like to present it to me. In other words, I want to be with you regardless of whatever but if you take that attention away from me, I begin to die slowly, something in me begins to hurt, and hurt and hurt. Once I'm dead, emotionally of course, I become tough and accept everything just like my stylist. I accept my fate, this is how I'm meant to be.
I was going to stop here when I realized that I've been one-sided in my discussion so far. I understand that the man had to go probably to seek greener pastures but I'm also aware that after staying abroad for some years, you can invite your family to come join you but why he didn't invite them is what I don't know and why he came back briefly in 2011 to remind her of what she missed only to take it away again still baffles me. I'm very sure he's remarried but she's not aware, I'm just saying though.
I don't think I want to go down that road, what do you think? Would you remarry between the period of 1993 and now? I was born in 1993 which means I'll be 23 this year so that means she has been without a man for 23 years and counting. If you were her, what would you do? Would you re-marry or stay alone because you're a "good christian" or for other reasons? Or would you stay alone and be "seeing" other people alongside because "body no be firewood"?
Share your thoughts, what do you think? Females, what would you do given the circumstances? Guys, if you were female, what would you do? Please comment and if you have issues commenting, mail me @ odusolar@gmail.com and remember, I love you for reading and I love you more for commenting.
Facebook - Odusola Aanuoluwapo
Twitter - @odusolar
BBM - 2ACA8612
So Dami and I, my family friend who I refer to as my child though he's wayyyy bigger in size but of course I'm older *pops collar*, we went in search of a salon where I can "re-touch" my hair because I don't have a permanent stylist around here unlike everywhere else I've been to. We eventually found one and you know the way salons are, never a dull moment because there's always something to see and listen to. It didn't start so interesting though because it was just Dami, I and my stammering-stylist. One thing led to another and she told me about her "baby" who's in 200 level coming home this week from school. I don't know why I asked but I shaaa asked if that was her only child then the story came out. Ghen ghen!
I thought about it and asked if I'd remarry if I were her but then I thought about what women see marriage as these days. By women, I mean our mothers not ladies like me. Women these days don't care about love in their marriages as long as the man is taking good care of their kids. It makes the whole concept of marriage unappealing to me because what's the point of getting married to someone just for the sake of love and what do you get? Wayy lesser. I don't blame them most times because leaving a marriage is hard especially when the man is performing his fatherly duties but it's the woman who suffers emotionally and most importantly, sexuallly.
I'm not an attention seeker naturally but if we must be together, then I must have your attention and participation in whatever I do. I won't be able to speak on behalf of every female since we differ in our desires but I think we all want attention to an extent. Even if we're not talking, I still want your attention however you may like to present it to me. In other words, I want to be with you regardless of whatever but if you take that attention away from me, I begin to die slowly, something in me begins to hurt, and hurt and hurt. Once I'm dead, emotionally of course, I become tough and accept everything just like my stylist. I accept my fate, this is how I'm meant to be.
I was going to stop here when I realized that I've been one-sided in my discussion so far. I understand that the man had to go probably to seek greener pastures but I'm also aware that after staying abroad for some years, you can invite your family to come join you but why he didn't invite them is what I don't know and why he came back briefly in 2011 to remind her of what she missed only to take it away again still baffles me. I'm very sure he's remarried but she's not aware, I'm just saying though.
I don't think I want to go down that road, what do you think? Would you remarry between the period of 1993 and now? I was born in 1993 which means I'll be 23 this year so that means she has been without a man for 23 years and counting. If you were her, what would you do? Would you re-marry or stay alone because you're a "good christian" or for other reasons? Or would you stay alone and be "seeing" other people alongside because "body no be firewood"?
Share your thoughts, what do you think? Females, what would you do given the circumstances? Guys, if you were female, what would you do? Please comment and if you have issues commenting, mail me @ odusolar@gmail.com and remember, I love you for reading and I love you more for commenting.
Facebook - Odusola Aanuoluwapo
Twitter - @odusolar
BBM - 2ACA8612
Comments
They just come into your life, imprison you, pin you down with a child and run away with their normal life.
It shall not be well with that man. I dey vex jooor.
I am a man but can never think of such. Why marry her if you can't be there...this ain't dating, its marriage mehn. Its deeper.
She should pull the pin and move on with her life jooor. I bet there are many men closer to her who would do way better than the stranger abroad that calls himself a husband.