Good morning my loves, welcome to 2016. This is our first post this year so I’m supposed to be very excited but the issue I want to discuss is not one that gives room for such excitement. Of course, I’m excited that you can read this right now, that you came all the way from 2015 into 2016. It wasn’t an easy trip but we’re all here finally. Thank you so much for your love. Now to the business of the day.
In a world of women and men, yes I put women first because I’m a woman just in case you were wondering why or maybe you didn’t even notice, the fate of a woman depends on the woman not the man and this is no merlin line. I’m really hurt right now and I’m too hurt to not speak up. I’m not a romantic person for reasons I don’t know but for some reason I’m grateful for it. I’m saying this because I’ve seen what people call love in action and it makes me wonder if it really is love. I’m not going to dispute the fact that I’ve also made my mistakes, I mean, we all have our stupid moments but I’m not here to talk about relationship drama and all, my focus here is on our boxer-boyfriends. Some of them didn’t start as boxers though, it was a gradual process.
The first time I heard the phrase “na from clap, dance dey start” from Okimi Dayo, I laughed so hard I could have cried if care wasn’t taken. That was many years ago though, you know how you hear some things and it just sounds funny then later you think about it, it’s not funny anymore because you realize its real, the plain truth. The truth is, everything in your life, in my life, happening right now started from somewhere but sometimes we’re not sensitive enough to look at what tomorrow holds with those things in place. I’m writing this with a lot of pain in my heart because I’ve witnessed it first-hand.
I was discussing with Anuli some days ago and she shared a story which was very similar to mine with me and I was very close to tears, the only reason why I didn’t cry was because I’ve cried enough or I think I’ve cried enough so I couldn’t feel the tears coming anymore. We claim to be in love and then we abuse each other physically. Ladies stick with guys who beat them and he comes back begging with gifts and then you’re both back to being Romeo and Juliet till the next round of beating. I know this because I grew up in a home where my mum was constantly beaten and at a point, it became a ritual.
We spent most nights saying “Daddy please, daddy please” with tears rolling out of our eyes. It was never funny to me and it still isn’t even though it doesn’t happen anymore. This is why it brings great pain to my heart when I see a girl claiming to be “in love” with someone who actually hits her. It usually starts with a slap followed by an “I’m sorry” which is usually accompanied by any form of gift. It eventually graduates into actual beating, almost the kind a thief in Lagos receives before he’s burnt with a tyre and of course, another “I’m sorry” follows alongside a hospital treatment or home treatment depending on how deep the injury is, and then few kisses, few kind actions, breakfast in bed, sexual activity out of the blues and you’re back to being Romeo and Juliet again.
I know some of us love “love” but don’t be stupid in love. Don’t ever ever let a guy hit you and still take him back, don’t. Yes, issues come up, couples fight, we break up to make up but if a guy ever hits me in the course of our having issues, I’m sorry, I won’t let it slide. Did I just say I’m sorry, please scratch that, I’m so not sorry because I’m a human being first of all not an object and should be treated as such. This isn’t to say that I don’t believe that children should be disciplined via cane or any other measure you prefer but when you’re grown, you’re grown. Issues should be resolved with any other form of punishment as you deem fit but beating another adult isn’t one of the measures I’d advice anyone to subscribe to because even I do not subscribe to that.
Yes, I understand that we ladies can get so annoying and even insultive beyond your tolerance level but how bad can it get, really? Why not walk away instead or ignore her, do something better instead of hitting her and we won’t be doing this right now. I know our level of patience differs from each other the same way we have different personalities but I WILL NOT ACCEPT BEING BEATEN IN THE NAME OF LOVE. I, Odusola Aanuoluwapo is very tolerant but being beaten, naaaaa, that’s not my thing. And I heard someone was talking about staying married in the face of such severe beating but I very much disagree. I’m not saying this because I think marriage should be enjoyed not endured, of course life itself is not a bed of roses so issues come up, we laugh, we cry, we lose, we gain but we beat? No we shouldn’t beat or be beaten.
I know we all have different approaches to different issues in life after all, if we all had the same approach towards everything, this world would be no fun. Some of us believe that we should beat a woman to put her in her place and sadly, some women believe that a man who beats them loves them. I believe that when you really love someone, you won’t want to hurt them in any way, you won’t want to see them shed a tear; all you’d want is their happiness. Inspite of these, people still hurt each other emotionally but I don’t believe the hurt should ever lead to physical bruises.
I’m a woman and I don’t believe that a woman’s place is with a man, any man at all. A woman’s place is with herself. A woman should by all means find happiness in whatever way she can. You don’t need a man to be happy and you definitely don’t need to stay in that marriage in which you’re being beaten just because you want your kids to grow up with both parents or because you don’t want people to think bad of you or whatever but the truth is, people will always talk, I mean, see what they did to Jesus who lived without sinning so how much more you who is human? What you need to know is that, no matter what you do, it’s all about you so you just need to do the needful and before you know it, you’ll be in a place called happy.
I know it’s good to take risks and all but being with someone who hits you every now and then isn’t a risk I would ever advice anyone to take. The only risk I would advise anyone to take in such situation is leaving such partner because I know it’s not an easy decision to make but the earlier you leave, the better for you. If it’s a marriage, even your children (if you have any) would thank you for it but if you’re unmarried and your partner hits you, please RUN FOR YOUR LIFE because as cliché as it sounds, it’s very true that there are many fishes in the ocean so please go get another fish because this one has gone bad beyond redemption.
After all said and done, I’ve promised myself that I won’t entertain even a playful slap from anyone who claims to love me because na from clap dance dey start and once its permitted, one won’t be able to complain anymore because you can’t complain about what you permit. So please guys, let’s keep our hands off our women except in the case of romance, let’s not hit them and ladies, let’s try to not cause trouble that would make a man contemplate hitting us and if he tries it, you know the way to the door, don’t be stupid in love.
Facebook - Odusola Aanuoluwapo
Twitter - @odusolar
BBM - 2ACA8612
In a world of women and men, yes I put women first because I’m a woman just in case you were wondering why or maybe you didn’t even notice, the fate of a woman depends on the woman not the man and this is no merlin line. I’m really hurt right now and I’m too hurt to not speak up. I’m not a romantic person for reasons I don’t know but for some reason I’m grateful for it. I’m saying this because I’ve seen what people call love in action and it makes me wonder if it really is love. I’m not going to dispute the fact that I’ve also made my mistakes, I mean, we all have our stupid moments but I’m not here to talk about relationship drama and all, my focus here is on our boxer-boyfriends. Some of them didn’t start as boxers though, it was a gradual process.
The first time I heard the phrase “na from clap, dance dey start” from Okimi Dayo, I laughed so hard I could have cried if care wasn’t taken. That was many years ago though, you know how you hear some things and it just sounds funny then later you think about it, it’s not funny anymore because you realize its real, the plain truth. The truth is, everything in your life, in my life, happening right now started from somewhere but sometimes we’re not sensitive enough to look at what tomorrow holds with those things in place. I’m writing this with a lot of pain in my heart because I’ve witnessed it first-hand.
I was discussing with Anuli some days ago and she shared a story which was very similar to mine with me and I was very close to tears, the only reason why I didn’t cry was because I’ve cried enough or I think I’ve cried enough so I couldn’t feel the tears coming anymore. We claim to be in love and then we abuse each other physically. Ladies stick with guys who beat them and he comes back begging with gifts and then you’re both back to being Romeo and Juliet till the next round of beating. I know this because I grew up in a home where my mum was constantly beaten and at a point, it became a ritual.
We spent most nights saying “Daddy please, daddy please” with tears rolling out of our eyes. It was never funny to me and it still isn’t even though it doesn’t happen anymore. This is why it brings great pain to my heart when I see a girl claiming to be “in love” with someone who actually hits her. It usually starts with a slap followed by an “I’m sorry” which is usually accompanied by any form of gift. It eventually graduates into actual beating, almost the kind a thief in Lagos receives before he’s burnt with a tyre and of course, another “I’m sorry” follows alongside a hospital treatment or home treatment depending on how deep the injury is, and then few kisses, few kind actions, breakfast in bed, sexual activity out of the blues and you’re back to being Romeo and Juliet again.
I know some of us love “love” but don’t be stupid in love. Don’t ever ever let a guy hit you and still take him back, don’t. Yes, issues come up, couples fight, we break up to make up but if a guy ever hits me in the course of our having issues, I’m sorry, I won’t let it slide. Did I just say I’m sorry, please scratch that, I’m so not sorry because I’m a human being first of all not an object and should be treated as such. This isn’t to say that I don’t believe that children should be disciplined via cane or any other measure you prefer but when you’re grown, you’re grown. Issues should be resolved with any other form of punishment as you deem fit but beating another adult isn’t one of the measures I’d advice anyone to subscribe to because even I do not subscribe to that.
Yes, I understand that we ladies can get so annoying and even insultive beyond your tolerance level but how bad can it get, really? Why not walk away instead or ignore her, do something better instead of hitting her and we won’t be doing this right now. I know our level of patience differs from each other the same way we have different personalities but I WILL NOT ACCEPT BEING BEATEN IN THE NAME OF LOVE. I, Odusola Aanuoluwapo is very tolerant but being beaten, naaaaa, that’s not my thing. And I heard someone was talking about staying married in the face of such severe beating but I very much disagree. I’m not saying this because I think marriage should be enjoyed not endured, of course life itself is not a bed of roses so issues come up, we laugh, we cry, we lose, we gain but we beat? No we shouldn’t beat or be beaten.
I know we all have different approaches to different issues in life after all, if we all had the same approach towards everything, this world would be no fun. Some of us believe that we should beat a woman to put her in her place and sadly, some women believe that a man who beats them loves them. I believe that when you really love someone, you won’t want to hurt them in any way, you won’t want to see them shed a tear; all you’d want is their happiness. Inspite of these, people still hurt each other emotionally but I don’t believe the hurt should ever lead to physical bruises.
I’m a woman and I don’t believe that a woman’s place is with a man, any man at all. A woman’s place is with herself. A woman should by all means find happiness in whatever way she can. You don’t need a man to be happy and you definitely don’t need to stay in that marriage in which you’re being beaten just because you want your kids to grow up with both parents or because you don’t want people to think bad of you or whatever but the truth is, people will always talk, I mean, see what they did to Jesus who lived without sinning so how much more you who is human? What you need to know is that, no matter what you do, it’s all about you so you just need to do the needful and before you know it, you’ll be in a place called happy.
I know it’s good to take risks and all but being with someone who hits you every now and then isn’t a risk I would ever advice anyone to take. The only risk I would advise anyone to take in such situation is leaving such partner because I know it’s not an easy decision to make but the earlier you leave, the better for you. If it’s a marriage, even your children (if you have any) would thank you for it but if you’re unmarried and your partner hits you, please RUN FOR YOUR LIFE because as cliché as it sounds, it’s very true that there are many fishes in the ocean so please go get another fish because this one has gone bad beyond redemption.
Facebook - Odusola Aanuoluwapo
Twitter - @odusolar
BBM - 2ACA8612
Comments
It has some similarity to what you just posted. Pardon me to say that some girls likes it when treated in such manner. Its as though beating spices up her love and makes her feel she is with the right nigger.
Lol what a weird brain some ladies have though. And same time ladies trouble can make a guy jump off a cliff if he tries walking out.
For me if at all he has to hit something. Transfer your aggression to something like a door, tv, whatever and Hulk it down in her front let her see you are beasty to mess with Lol.
But finally a real matured nigger doesn't hit a woman, there are 5billion ways to get back at her. And silence remains the book haram to mend an annoying situation.