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Is It Okay For Her To Make The First Move?

The society we are in is not one that is in total support of a female making the first move towards a male she admires or wants a relationship with. Some of us (females) have been made to believe that it's the duty of a guy to take the first step towards building a relationship with us. Some females believe telling a guy how they feel about him is below standard, like stooping low. A female should keep her head up and withhold whatever emotions she has for the opposite sex no matter what. If he realises he feels the same way, fine, if otherwise, fine still. Somehow, a lot of us have broken that rule. It used to sound strange to me many years ago when females say they've made the first move at least once. I later realised that there's no wrong in it (in my own opinion though), it depends on how you go about it. You don't have to want to 'date' the person, just say how you feel and watch.

Surprisingly, some guys appreciate it when you tell them how you feel about them. About two guys have said that their best relationships were with females who approached them first and I was like aaawwww but again, it depends on how they went about it. Some guys are not worth telling, really really not worth it. I’m certain that the reason some girls do not tell guys how they feel about them is because of the response they got or because he obviously has a lot of females on his ‘neck’ and she doesn’t want to join the league. When considering telling a guy how you feel, a lot of things should be examined .e.g.

What do you like about him?

On a scale of 1-10, how much does he like you (like at least)?

What kind of result are you expecting after declaring your emotions?

And oh, does he even know you? Because I have a huge crush on Sam Smith (though he’s gay) but does he know me? Mba? So why waste my time and resources to reach him (I might not be able to sef) when it won’t make any difference #justsaying

The fact that we like someone doesn’t mean the person should like us back. That’s one of the mistakes we make. The person you’re liking isn’t obliged to like you just the way you don’t like some people no matter how much they like you. However, the person you like might like you but not in the same way you like him which is perfectly okay.


How do you tell him you like him? I don't have a script for that. If you like someone, how you go about telling them should be your own idea, your own words. Your words should be chosen carefully so the guy won't feel uncomfortable or scared of the 'love' he might get from you and begin to avoid you gradually. Just say it (if you must) and continue living your life however you've been living it. Don't let any negative reaction make you regret making the first move because you can only decide your actions not that of others.

In other words, say no to society and 'toast' that boy today, lol. It'll be great to know that he probably even feels the same way. Also remember that the worst response you can get is no or he might just avoid you, both of which doesn't mean it's the end of the world.


Facebook - Odusola Aanuoluwapo
Twitter - @odusolar
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