The Gift, The Gifter and The Gifted

This is another instagram-inspired post that I felt the strong urge to write about. It’s very complicated according to the responses I’ve gotten from people I spoke about it to. What happened was; a guy complained about another guy getting his girlfriend a car for her birthday saying that she claimed her relationship with the ‘gifter’ were without strings but he was of the opinion that she couldn’t have done anything without strings that would warrant a car gift. Yes, some people do not believe someone can just give out ‘big things’ without you doing something substantial like giving them one of your kidneys, lol. I understand though, a lot of guys do not appreciate random guys doing things for their girlfriends especially something they cannot afford to do for her. When other guys do stuffs for their girlfriends, they feel be-littled and disrespected.

So when this guy posted it, I read the advise of people and of course people took sides. In support of the guy, they advised the guy to break up with the girl as she was obviously cheating (like they were there, lol). A lot of guys said they cannot accept such from their girlfriends as it would mean they were not ‘man enough’. Some of my male friends said they would never accept it while one said it depends, if it was her childhood friend, he wouldn’t mind but just one random guy, naaaaaaaaa. Another said he would just ask her and believe whatever she says especially if she had given him no reason to be doubted prior to that incident.

From the females (we no dey carry last) I asked, almost all said they would take the car and explain it to him, if he understands, fine, if not, fine still. Mean ba? Well, let's look at it from my own perspective. We're going to accept or reject it based on three things; the gift, the 'gifter' and the gifted.

The Gift;
A car is a car. It is what we all want regardless of the fact that it might be a liability more than an asset. It is comfortable; makes one mobile. The advantages cannot be over-emphasised. It comes in different styles and sizes, none of which can be bought with very little amount of money. Getting a new car is something we actually "wash" because it's not easily acquired except by the so-called rich who might not look at their bank accounts without buying. Everyone or almost everyone wants a car gift because its luxury hence no one wants to reject it when given especially if it appears that there would be no complications accompanying the gift.

The Gifter;
Except this person used another person's destiny to succeed (too much of nollywood), I don't see why you should give another person something as huge as a car. On the other hand, there's nothing wrong with giving anybody anything even your soul. There are a lot of extremely generous people in the world and sometimes, all we need is one of those people to get our heart desires even without demanding. There's something else called favor, God just wants to bless you in a way you never imagined, he could use anyone including that "random nigga". So who's this guy, how did you meet him and why do you think you deserve a car from him? If the answers are straightforward enough, you have nothing to worry about. Take your car and ride.

The Gifted;
Who are you that another person is "dashing" you car? Are you materialistic? Is that how you go about collecting gifts from people? Are you contented with what you have? Do you need this gift? What actions would possibly follow after the collection of the gift? These questions should be answered sincerely then follow your heart.

Now that we've discussed the point, there's something that has to be clearly understood- it's a relationship not an engaged one or marriage. If the guy says his bae should return the car and they break up later, it would mean she had lost the car and the reason for losing the car. If you can afford to buy her another, there's nothing wrong with you telling her to return it and buying her another. Otherwise, I'd suggest that both talk it out and that her relationship with the giver is without strings attached. If possible, demand to meet the giver (to thank him at least but you know why deep down) just to make sure that he knows she's taken and if the giver seems surprised, then there's an issue.

This is only my opinion though but what do you think really? Do you think there's a better way to go about handling this issue asides the ones we've mentioned? Please comment, let us know your thoughts and learn too. Remember, I love you for reading.


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