Returning Gifts When A Friendship Goes Sour; Right Or Wrong?

Why do some people return gifts after a fight? I don't get it. I mean, except if the gift was the bone of contention, I see no reason why a gift should be returned. This happens a lot in close friendships because before someone can give you a gift, the friendship should have gotten to an extent. It’s very surprising when people do that. A while back when this question bothered me, I had to ask a friend if she had ever experienced it and she answered in the affirmative. She said she felt really hurt when it happened, who wouldn't be hurt? Are you saying that the friendship meant nothing? That even when you stop being friends with someone, the best way to eliminate any memory of them is to return back to them what they gave you?

I try not to tell deep personal stories but let me tell you this short one, now that we're talking about gifts. There was this guy who used to be the love of my life, good times, bad times, you know the drill. When our relationship began to hit the rock, he gave me some stuff to "help me keep them, I'd collect them later" knowing that there would probably be no later from all indications. The things he gave me to keep were stuffs he got through me. Some gifts, some he bought through someone I introduced him to but since it was ending, he wanted to probably forget it all (except the memories, it'll take amnesia to do that). I asked when I figured it out; he said that wasn't his intention, bla bla. The end.

I thought about why people do that because my friend who experienced it is female and another female returned her gift so I figured it’s not a romantic relationship thingy. Some people think it’s an act of immaturity but who am I to measure someone’s maturity based on my standards. Is there ever a valid reason to return a friend’s gift just because you guys are no longer on good terms?

Personally though, I would never return a gift I have already accepted (if I hear?). My ‘vexation’ doesn’t get to that extent except if the gift was the bone of contention. Why would I do that? I see it as my inheritance from the friendship hence it cannot be returned. Once I’ve accepted it, there’s no going back and if I have to return it, it has to be for a different reason like it wants to be replaced or anything else aside having fights.

So what do you think? Is returning gifts when a cool friendship or relationship goes ‘un-cool’ not a big deal or a big deal? Under what circumstances would you return a gift you already accepted? Let us know what you think so we can learn.

Thank you.

Facebook - Odusola Aanuoluwapo
Instagram - @i_am_phleg
Twitter - @odusolar
BBM - 2BC07AB1

Comments

My Marriage Story...So Far

I get to be asked about how marriage has been a lot by some of my unmarried friends. I’ve not even been married for long enough to be qualified to answer that question. From my little experience, marriage, like any other phase in life isn’t all smooth. It has its ups and downs. There’s an extra respect you get as soon as you get married. I get to be called MA a lot by people who wouldn’t ordinarily call me that and I’m wondering why. I guess it’s just the way the society has made it. Oh and I lost some friends as soon as I got the MRS title. Some people don’t care about how serious your relationship is, they’d still be on your ‘case’ but as soon as you say “I do”, they’d forget you like you never existed. This was good and bad for me because I considered some to be great friends but then, I guess I was wrong. Then there’s the pressure to get pregnant, I got lucky to get pregnant earlier than I thought though I wasn’t even ready. But before my body began announcing it, I still

Dunsin's Kitchen - Second Year Anniversary

I’m not a fan of long WhatsApp posts hence the need to write, post and just share the link on one WhatsApp/Instagram post. I’m a bit rusty (writing-wise) sha but I’ll try. I want to talk about how Dunsin’s Kitchen (DK) started because it’s our second anniversary today. I never imagined being a cook at this time, not with banking and family stress. I’ve imagined selling food a couple of times and it was inspired by one boli and beans seller in Asaba during my NYSC in 2014. I told my friend Osaru then that I’d love to start a place like that and call it Boli Kitchen. We just used to laugh about it then plus I’m not really a fan of beans though I could cook it well if I wanted to. Fast forward to 2020, we had a guest- my husband’s colleague who I served jollof rice and she kept talking about how good it was. One day, she said she would love to buy if I could make it for her so I agreed. Then I decided to ask others if they’d like to buy so I wouldn’t be making a small portion and some agr

Making Your Death Profitable

I read a thread on twitter recently about women whose husbands die and the in-laws take over everything their husband owned and it got me thinking about a lot of things. That is actually the reality in a lot of homes in Nigeria. Husband dies, his family takes over stuff without considering how his wife will cater for the kids. Sometimes, they might even kill the man to get his properties and take over everything including his wife. It’s really sad that people can be so wicked and inconsiderate which is why we need to take some steps to prevent our loved ones from suffering after our demise. It’s very important for a woman to work and have her own investments in different places no matter how rich your husband is. I’ve seen women who become maids after their very rich husband dies and there’s nothing left for them. While you can’t stop any in-law from claiming whatever, you can build yourself up financially so that you won’t be affected financially when death happens to your husb

Odusolar's Think Tank Hub

Search This Blog