Returning Gifts When A Friendship Goes Sour; Right Or Wrong?

Why do some people return gifts after a fight? I don't get it. I mean, except if the gift was the bone of contention, I see no reason why a gift should be returned. This happens a lot in close friendships because before someone can give you a gift, the friendship should have gotten to an extent. It’s very surprising when people do that. A while back when this question bothered me, I had to ask a friend if she had ever experienced it and she answered in the affirmative. She said she felt really hurt when it happened, who wouldn't be hurt? Are you saying that the friendship meant nothing? That even when you stop being friends with someone, the best way to eliminate any memory of them is to return back to them what they gave you?

I try not to tell deep personal stories but let me tell you this short one, now that we're talking about gifts. There was this guy who used to be the love of my life, good times, bad times, you know the drill. When our relationship began to hit the rock, he gave me some stuff to "help me keep them, I'd collect them later" knowing that there would probably be no later from all indications. The things he gave me to keep were stuffs he got through me. Some gifts, some he bought through someone I introduced him to but since it was ending, he wanted to probably forget it all (except the memories, it'll take amnesia to do that). I asked when I figured it out; he said that wasn't his intention, bla bla. The end.

I thought about why people do that because my friend who experienced it is female and another female returned her gift so I figured it’s not a romantic relationship thingy. Some people think it’s an act of immaturity but who am I to measure someone’s maturity based on my standards. Is there ever a valid reason to return a friend’s gift just because you guys are no longer on good terms?

Personally though, I would never return a gift I have already accepted (if I hear?). My ‘vexation’ doesn’t get to that extent except if the gift was the bone of contention. Why would I do that? I see it as my inheritance from the friendship hence it cannot be returned. Once I’ve accepted it, there’s no going back and if I have to return it, it has to be for a different reason like it wants to be replaced or anything else aside having fights.

So what do you think? Is returning gifts when a cool friendship or relationship goes ‘un-cool’ not a big deal or a big deal? Under what circumstances would you return a gift you already accepted? Let us know what you think so we can learn.

Thank you.

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