Skip to main content

Returning Gifts When A Friendship Goes Sour; Right Or Wrong?

Why do some people return gifts after a fight? I don't get it. I mean, except if the gift was the bone of contention, I see no reason why a gift should be returned. This happens a lot in close friendships because before someone can give you a gift, the friendship should have gotten to an extent. It’s very surprising when people do that. A while back when this question bothered me, I had to ask a friend if she had ever experienced it and she answered in the affirmative. She said she felt really hurt when it happened, who wouldn't be hurt? Are you saying that the friendship meant nothing? That even when you stop being friends with someone, the best way to eliminate any memory of them is to return back to them what they gave you?

I try not to tell deep personal stories but let me tell you this short one, now that we're talking about gifts. There was this guy who used to be the love of my life, good times, bad times, you know the drill. When our relationship began to hit the rock, he gave me some stuff to "help me keep them, I'd collect them later" knowing that there would probably be no later from all indications. The things he gave me to keep were stuffs he got through me. Some gifts, some he bought through someone I introduced him to but since it was ending, he wanted to probably forget it all (except the memories, it'll take amnesia to do that). I asked when I figured it out; he said that wasn't his intention, bla bla. The end.

I thought about why people do that because my friend who experienced it is female and another female returned her gift so I figured it’s not a romantic relationship thingy. Some people think it’s an act of immaturity but who am I to measure someone’s maturity based on my standards. Is there ever a valid reason to return a friend’s gift just because you guys are no longer on good terms?

Personally though, I would never return a gift I have already accepted (if I hear?). My ‘vexation’ doesn’t get to that extent except if the gift was the bone of contention. Why would I do that? I see it as my inheritance from the friendship hence it cannot be returned. Once I’ve accepted it, there’s no going back and if I have to return it, it has to be for a different reason like it wants to be replaced or anything else aside having fights.

So what do you think? Is returning gifts when a cool friendship or relationship goes ‘un-cool’ not a big deal or a big deal? Under what circumstances would you return a gift you already accepted? Let us know what you think so we can learn.

Thank you.


Facebook - Odusola Aanuoluwapo
Instagram - @i_am_phleg
Twitter - @odusolar
BBM - 2BC07AB1

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Marriage Story...So Far

I get to be asked about how marriage has been a lot by some of my unmarried friends. I’ve not even been married for long enough to be qualified to answer that question. From my little experience, marriage, like any other phase in life isn’t all smooth. It has its ups and downs. There’s an extra respect you get as soon as you get married. I get to be called MA a lot by people who wouldn’t ordinarily call me that and I’m wondering why. I guess it’s just the way the society has made it. Oh and I lost some friends as soon as I got the MRS title. Some people don’t care about how serious your relationship is, they’d still be on your ‘case’ but as soon as you say “I do”, they’d forget you like you never existed. This was good and bad for me because I considered some to be great friends but then, I guess I was wrong. Then there’s the pressure to get pregnant, I got lucky to get pregnant earlier than I thought though I wasn’t even ready. But before my body began announcing it, I still...

Life after Death...real or not?

Life after death....hmmmm      I know we've all heard or read stories about people who lived after they died.      I'm not talking about reincarnation this time, I'm talking about people who were confirmed dead but were still recognised elsewhere alive, hale and hearty.      Okay, there was this lady who resided close to my house diagnosed with tuberculosis or something related because she was drying up real bad, might have been Hiv too (just saying), she usually patronised my shop where soft drinks and snacks were sold. She usually bought only pepsi or 7up, as the spirit led her I guess.      I was very young then and observant too as always so one day she came as usual, bought 7up and left. Not long after she left, I heard that she had died the previous day.      I wondered how someone could be dead and still buy her usual the next day, I thought it was a strange thing so I never told anyone.   ...

My End Of The Year Note

Dear OTTH Readers, how are we? I'm very fine and I can smell 2016 already afterall it's just some hours from now so I guess I'd just use this medium to say merry Christmas in arrears and happy new year in advance. I hope we all "shouted out" to our uncles and aunties, class teachers, lol, don't mind me. I'm sure we remember those Christmas funfairs where kids shout out to their loved ones where some even cry while talking, it's very hilarious watching them. Okay, now to the reason we're here. This year wasn't so bad for me though it didn't start so well but I have a lot to be thankful for and I'm going to share them with you. Let's start with the negatives so the story can have a good ending. For about half of the year, I was jobless which means I was frustrated, broke, you know the drill. Recently too, I lost my school's Vice Chancellor, Mrs. Esther Tchokatcheu who played a very important role in the process of my being a gr...