In the course of our daily
movement from place to place, we encounter different kinds of people. Our focus
today is on the kind of people we meet in public transport. If you’ve never
taken public transport, this is not for you because you might not be able to
relate. If you fall into any of these categories *lipsaresealed*, if you’re
not, I got you covered.
My fellow public
transport-ers, kindly read on.
The
Preachers;
if you’ve never encountered any preacher in a bus or keke, it means you’ve not
been taking public transport or maybe you’ve just been uber-ing. There are
different kinds of public transport preachers. We have the aggressive preachers who say something like “give your life to
Christ now or you’ll die” “if you use earring or makeup, you’re from the
devil”, oga calm down na, they are the ones who command you to surrender to God
like it’s a do or die (it actually is when looked at closely). We have the horror movie preachers who tell you
about how someone was preached to in a bus the way they’re preaching to you and
refused to listen and died before they got to their destination, bla bla. They
keep scaring you with all the stories hoping someone will change their mind and
give their life to Christ. We have the realistic
preachers, they are the ones who are gentle in their approach, they just
let you know the advantages and disadvantages of your actions and hope that the
Holy Spirit penetrates your heart to make the word sink in so it won’t stand
against you on the last day. Some of them pass you offering envelopes when you
close your eyes to pray and some people are so used to them that they give them
offering before they even ask. Okay, enough of preachers.
The
Bus Captains; this position is only vacant when there is no conductor, a
person takes it upon him or herself to collect the bus fare from passengers,
give them ‘change’ then give it to the driver for confirmation that his ‘money’
is complete. Some of them act bossy when they attain this temporary position
and sometimes, others have to remind them that they are also passengers so
they’d stop feeling special.
The
Beggars;
these are the people who can’t keep their eyes off other people’s ‘chewables’, they’re
either pregnant, old or just plain covetous, there’s no in between. Its okay to
admire what someone is eating but when you eventually find the courage to ask, that
means you’ve gotten to the next level.
The
Lawyers;
these are the people who fight on behalf of others in the bus. When the
conductor refuses to give someone change or the driver is rude to someone, they
take it personal while the victim just watches.
The
Artists;
these are the people who play their phone music on speaker, if it’s not on
speaker, they sing along to whatever is playing into their ears off key enough to disturb the rest of
the passengers.
The
Scammers;
these are the people that try their best not to pay their bus fare when
everyone is paying, until the driver begins to shout on top his voice, that’s
if they had not alighted then. Some preachers use this technique to avoid
paying bus fares, it works some times and doesn’t work sometimes depending on
the driver or conductor.
The
Staffs;
these are the people who refer to themselves as staff, they’re either high
ranked touts or uniform men. I’d have said policemen/women but even road safety
officials do same. Sometimes, the conductors and drivers even refer to these
people as staff thinking that they will be exempted from paying those ‘dues’
they pay on the road. It works sometimes maybe due to the rank of the person
and sometimes, it doesn’t.
The
Talkers;
these are the people that can say their entire life history in the bus or over
the phone. They say how much they sent to the client, how much they intend to
withdraw, when they travelled abroad, even up to their families spiritual
issues. They’ll later be wondering who robbed them if they get robbed later.
The
Lap-pers; these
are the ones who enter the bus in threes or fours and they just want to pay for
one seat so the eldest pushes the rest to other passengers so they can ‘lap’
them to cut cost. Some mothers do it, most likely to cut cost. Some don’t even
push them to others, they just try to make all of them sit in between and on
their lap until someone decides to offer their lap.
Facebook - Odusola Aanuoluwapo
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Instagram - @i_am_phleg
Twitter - @odusolar
BBM - 2BC07AB1
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