Let's Talk About Your Bodycount

At the start of any relationship, body count of either partner doesn't seem to matter but unless you're married to your boyfriend or girlfriend (first love), then it's most certain you'll end up dating someone who's had sexual relationship with a few people(depending on your definition of few). 

You'll agree with me in this current generation, teenagers have sex at quite an early age and with different partners (reason is a topic for another day). You'll most likely expect your partner to have body count but not on the high side. So it raises a few eyebrows when you find yourself in such circumstance especially when the high count belongs to the woman (not saying men don't have). Some desire to know their partner's body count for moral reasons and to some it's to know their partner's past.

So I'm going to share some opinions and I hope it helps when we eventually have this talk in our relationships

Women Count, Men (Not Always)

Most women(but I feel all) can tell you exactly how many male partners they've slept with and unless she's a professional prostitute or a (nympho), then every woman knows how many she's been in bed with.

Women just do so by default because they are more emotional about this than men are. Even when it's not just more than a sexcapade or done under the influence of alcohol. Men on the other hand also count but it will take a man a longer time to answer or give his body count than it will take a woman. Men mostly do the thing and forget unless for a few useless ones that count getting a ‘head’ sef as sex. Men will probably remember the ones they got attached to and the ones with good experienced (even though the one-offs) but can't remember all most times.

Women Lie, Men Hardly Do (I guess you’re feeling fly now)

As we know our Nigerian culture doesn't allow women to have multiple sexual partners before and even after marriage, most women often lie about their body count or totally avoid answering in some cases. Most women feel the need to reduce or lie about their body count so as to keep their current partner or fear of losing him(make market no spoil) which may happen if they come clean with the right value of their body count. 

And for the men, most women are even scared of asking for their men's body count for the fear of knowing and some won't even believe your answer when they eventually ask you. When the count is too high, he's making it up and when it's too low, you’ll hear (you that girls follow you up and down). Men really have no cause to lie since the society doesn't really frown at men having multiple sexual partners and to some it's a bragging right.

Be Prepared, Anything Can Happen

As the issue of body count seems to be an unavoidable topic, it will do us much good when we're prepared for what's coming when we ask the question. For those fortunate to be in a relationship with a virgin, they have no worries otherwise, we all get to be with people who have had sex with other people in the past. I have to say having a high body count doesn't make one a lesser person compared to those with low body counts but as I mentioned earlier, a high body count is bound to raise questions but whether the count changes things is a talk for another day. But as our society frowns against women having multiple partners but supports the male folks in doing so, a man with a high body count seems normal compared to a woman having same counts. So when you want to ask your partner that question, make sure you're ready for the worst.

Present Matters Not The Past

As good as knowing your partner well in and out sounds and which may ultimately include knowing their body count, the truth is all those lie in their past. I think partners should rather focus on asking how their partner's past was (talking from a guy's point of view) because guys don't like it when they hear bad stories about their girlfriend after she must have told him how her past was. Imagine as a guy, after bragging about your bae, then someone comes to tell you he's had her before (not that it's bad but she should have been truthful). So the past should be discussed solely to avoid unforeseen situations. Also, I’ll advice partners to move on from the past to the present and work towards improving one another's future since the past can't be altered but we can still influence the future.

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