The Rant - Clingy

I'll like to consider myself a weird person. One minute I'm laughing, next minute I'm crying. One minute I'm chatty, next minute I'm quiet. One minute I'm hungry, next minute I'm not. One minute I’m dressed like a chic, next minute I’m dressed like a poor maid because even some maids dress classy.

So I like being alone so much, more than required sometimes. It's hard to believe to some people who have probably not witnessed my quiet side but that's okay. My least favorite people are the ones who can't read in between the lines. Can't you even sense when someone isn't in the mood to talk to you? I mean???

Okay I'm at this event though at the time you're reading this, it'll be more appropriate to say 'I was at this event...' So I'm at this event and I needed to take a break to be alone, keyword "alone". I only sat down for a couple of minutes when this guy came to sit beside me. He said hi and I replied courteously, then he became chatty. I wasn't in the mood to talk but I wasn't in the mood to 'not talk' either so I said to myself 'why not?'

The program was a full day program and he wasn't around from the beginning which I was so he asked me to brief him about how it's been so far. It was an eventful day so yeah, there was something to tell. I told him about the book chats that took place which were very inspiring and I learned a lot from. My favorite part of that day's program (it was a five day program) being the part where there was a discussion themed "legs open, eyes closed". It was about sex and its relationship with literature and had five people, three of which were females leading the discussion after which the audience will be allowed to give their opinion.

I explained to him how one of the females said she was going to make feminist porn where the focus of the sexual activities will be on women as opposed to the usual pornography where the men are at the center because they believe their audience are men only or mostly. They also spoke about how women are never satisfied enough sexually but most men don't care, once they've 'cum' the end. I'm going to keep the rest of the gist for another day.

I explained all of this to this guy who also said he was a writer, though he was more of a speaker than a writer. I spoke extensively about it as I totally agreed with most of the ideas they shared. This guy probably saw a 'perv' in me and I could slowly see him reacting in a way he probably didn't notice. He told us to take a walk, I said I wasn't interested because I took a walk before I decided to sit and that we (more like I) needed to keep an eye on when they were going to start the next program as it was past the starting time so it could start at any time.

He pointed at somewhere not so far and said we could walk there and back so I reluctantly agreed. I saw my friend almost immediately we got to the spot so I left him to meet my friend. I left my friend as soon as the next program was about to begin. I saw this guy again so I said hi, he was beginning to get touchy now as he was holding his hand out for a shake every now and then and wanted to hold my hand for much longer which I immediately disallowed.

I eventually found somewhere to sit among unfamiliar people as I wasn't in the mood for any sort of chit-chat. I wanted to be alone. Not long after the play we wanted to watch (that was the program we were waiting for) began, the guy beside me started a small talk and I obliged. It was interesting and I concluded that he was very intelligent. He didn't choke me with his talk or maybe, I was in the mood to talk then.

After several sessions the next day, I saw the other guy; I'm going to name him Clingy. Clingy was happy to see me and I acted surprised to see him, I didn't care really. He wanted to give me a hug so I gave him a hug that was more like a deeper life hug, no offense to deeper life members. He asked where I was going and I said I was going to the loo, he kept walking beside me, I had to rephrase as I wasn't exactly sure why he was still walking with me when I'd clearly stated my destination. I went to the loo and I saw him waiting just outside for me. Sigh. Can you chill at least? I'm not so friendly. He wanted me to take a picture of him and a celebrity with my phone which I did and told him to return the favor. Clingy acted like he was taking the photo after several poses the celebrity and I had made only to tell me to put it back on the camera for him. I asked if he took any at all, he said of course. 

The celebrity begged to take his leave and I totally understood. I checked after I, more like we, Clingy and I settled in for the next session. He wasn't ready to settle down for the next session and suggested that we take a walk attempting to hold my hand a couple of times which I stylishly declined because actions speak louder than words. I told him I was ready to settle in so he decided not to walk, not like I cared still.

The session was an interview with an award winning writer in the class of Wole Soyinka and Chinua Achebe, I'm not going to mention names. So I had the guy sitting beside me in a rather uncomfortable manner. He rested his arm in a way his arm was almost touching mine and positioned his legs in a way it was almost touching mine as well. I had to adjust to avoid the contact he seemed to want. He was talking to me (more like whispering) in between the interview asking me questions like "is it true?", "can you understand the language?" to know if I agreed with the speaker. 

I almost screamed 'dude, shut up' but I didn't want that kind of attention plus he had bad breath so his talking was as unpleasant as the odor from his mouth. I needed my space badly. The interview was over not too long after but the audience was given the opportunity to ask questions so the Q and A was going on. I decided to get some air at that point so I stood up quietly and walked myself out of the hall. I played back my music which I paused earlier, it was John Legend's everybody knows. I made sure it was on the highest volume to avoid hearing other sounds including Clingy's footsteps if he was actually following me which I thought not.

Just as I stood outside proceeding to take a long walk to get 'kush' (no, not weed, thank you very much), I saw Clingy beside me. He went "what happened, you didn't tell me you were leaving, you just left like that", my normal response would have been "oh, I was supposed to tell you?" but instead I said "I wanted to be alone and I want to get something too", he was almost walking with me when I had to remind him that "I wanted to be alone". Finding kush was so difficult and I was beginning to wonder why it was so scarce, I eventually got it but for more than the usual price which was still fine, I needed it.

As soon as I got back to the building and decided to go have some private time in the toilet, I saw Clingy and I treated him as if he was invisible. I went to an empty hall when I was done; I wasn't ready to be among other people, talk less of people who won't stop clinging. I sat close to the socket which had been my permanent seat in the past few days; I plugged in my phone and began doing whatever. People began coming in little by little, we were about to begin the palm wine and poetry session. Before I could type jgjf, I saw Clingy again, Sigh.

He came to sit almost beside me and asked "you didn't even tell me you were going anywhere, are you sure there's no problem?" I responded by saying "wanting to be alone is not my problem". Silence. Someone behind me said I should help her plug in her phone so he asked if I was charging mine, I said yes. Next thing I heard was "remove your phone and plug my own". I was already deaf now.

A call came in from someone I didn't want to talk to came in but I took it. After the conversation, he asked "are you charging your phone?" to which I replied "yes" with a silent "are you deaf or something?" "I want to charge my phone too because I'm leaving soon" he said. My normal response would have been "so?" but I said "oh okay, have a goodnight". He had to ask again nicely "Please let me charge" so I agreed. He asked "have you had dinner?" I said "I'm not hungry but I ate earlier", I was trying to remember something and he just kept talking. He noticed my reaction then said "are you okay?" to which I replied "I'm trying to do something but you're distracting me"

That was my break-through; he stopped talking then later walked away. He came back few minutes later and took away his phone, said goodnight and left. 

To me, it was goodnight, goodbye and good riddance.

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