Signs That Your Partner Is Still Into An Ex

Holding on to previous romantic attachments creates feelings of distrust and can put at risk an otherwise promising relationship. So are you wondering if your honey's heart still rests in the hands of a past love? There’s no way to know for sure without talking to your partner about your concerns. But how do you know when you need to have that talk? ‘Family share’ shares some of the tips with us;

Talking About the Ex Too Much; We all compare our current romance to ones we’ve had in the past, and an occasional reference to an old steady is no cause for alarm. But if it’s happening 24-seven, it’s a problem. It’s going to keep both of you from enjoying the new relationship. If you're hearing every detail and story about the former relationship, it’s probably a sign that your partner hasn’t moved on.

Not talking About the Former Love At All; Silence about a former lover can indicate lack of closure. Guilty feelings from carrying a secret torch often make a person not want to talk about an ex. If you notice your partner's afraid to bring up the ex or if your partner's tried and it's becomes a sore point, it’s time to ask why.

Online Stalking; Whether it’s with Facebook, a dating profile, or Googling the ex's name, keeping frequent online tabs can be a red flag. Are you getting what you need from this person, especially when he or she spends two hours on Facebook after dinner? If not, it’s time to speak up.

Too Much Contact With the Ex; Frequent emails, phone calls, or online messaging with a past love can take away from a current relationship. If you're talking weekly emails and your partner is still fully invested in your current relationship, then it’s not a sign of anything. But if it’s weekly emails and you partner isn't devoted, then you have a legit concern. Your partner may not have cut the cord. If you’re not OK with your current partner’s contact with an ex, say so. Your partner and his or her ex should be willing to take a break from each other while you two concentrate on what you have together. It doesn’t have to be a permanent break, but it is the respectful thing to do.

 

The Ex's Name slips out during Sexual Climax; Talk about bad timing. During orgasm, the mind is totally uninhibited, making it easier for someone else’s name to slip out. That kind of a mistake usually suggests unresolved feelings for an ex.

Keeping Mementos; Looking at souvenirs from a relationship is part of the healing process. But, it's time to let go of the reminders when the feelings are resolved. Your partner doesn't need to set the favourite sweatshirt and all those love letters out on the curb. But they should be out of everyday reach. As for photos on display, it’s one thing to have a group picture that includes a past partner on the wall. It’s another to erect a shrine to that person or plaster the bedroom with a display of the glory days together. 

Hot and Cold Romance; Watch out for a partner who turns affections on and off. Your partner may be cold and pull away when feeling guilty about not having given the same kind of love in the past relationship. Then the passion may get turned up again when your partner feels guilty for withdrawing from you.

Your Partner Says He or She's Not Ready to Commit; One of the symptoms of not being ready to move on is the “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” talk. Or, “I’m into you, but I still want to see others.” If a longstanding relationship isn’t moving to the next level, then the roadblock could be another person from the past.

You Just Have a Feeling; If you think something just doesn’t feel right, it’s probably worth bringing it out in the open. It could lead to a discovery about your partner’s feelings for someone else. Also, if you feel a need to snoop around, there’s a good chance your relationship has trust problems, try to get to the cause of the distrust, and hold off on the detective work.

As much heartache and headache as it may cause, couples can survive one partner being stuck on a previous failed relationship. But the longer you wait to speak up, the more likely you’ll be to resent the situation. Start the dialogue with your hung-up honey with a “working together” approach instead of pushing the other person away with angry words. Use phrases like, “I need your help,” and, “I need your reassurance,” and, “I love you and want to work with you on this,” to get the ball rolling.

If you’re having problems addressing the issue but really feel it’s worth working on, it may be time to seek help from a couple's therapist.

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