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#NoGrudge Now And Forever

Toke Makinwa has never been one of my favorite celebrities but I was curious to reading her book "on becoming" and when I did, to say I was inspired by it would be an understatement but that's not what I'm here to talk about. One of the parts of the book that moved me was when she explained how the two house helps her family had kept grudges with each other which led to one not telling the other that the cooking gas was faulty which eventually led to the house being burnt which in turn led to the death of the maids and her parents therefore marking the beginning of a new journey for her. That's why I'm here.

Keeping grudges is something I try not to do though I would admit that I have kept grudges at different points in my life but in the end, is it worth dying for? Of course not. When Mama Dayo died (may her soul rest in peace), you'd think Mummy Bolu was her best friend because she cried the most. Did I say cried? It was more like wailing but the funny thing was that a lot of people begged Mummy Bolu to visit Mama Dayo while she was in the hospital, she refused. Only death ended the grudge they both had and there she was crying like never before so I assumed the pain of not reconciling with Mama Dayo before her death was what hurt her more that the pain of her death itself.


Again, I wonder, is it worth it still? I've come to realise, though I've always known that life is too short so why not try to live "peaceably" with all men? I know not everyone will like everyone for good/bad reasons or no reasons at all but can you at least try to be on good terms? Would you rather let someone die before realising that the grudge wasn't worth it or be dead instead? I mean, I don't know, it just hurts so much that a lot of us blow things out of proportion. You hear a lot of people vowing not to speak to one another until death.

It's even funnier that some members of the same family don't speak to each other not because they've not had the opportunity, reason or means to but because they've internally or externally vowed not to. If blood related people can't speak with each other, how much more people who aren't, colleagues, friends or 'frenemies'? The list is endless.
The truth is, people will always hurt you in a lot of ways knowingly or unknowingly and you will hurt a lot of people too in the same vain if we want to be really honest with ourselves but does it stop the sun from shining? Of course not. Neither does it stop things from taking their normal course, the only thing that changes is you who's keeping it and maybe the person you're keeping it with (if the person is aware that is). "Hatred hurts the hater than the hated" was a quote I stumbled upon many years ago and it never stops ringing in my head. I'm not going to start talking about hating, bitterness and all of that but I'd like you to always remember that shit happens, it's part of what makes life dramatic.

It's okay to reduce your interactions with an individual as a result of a bad experience but grudges should be a no no because it hinders you in a lot of ways - spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, educationally, financially - I could go on and on. If you've been keeping grudges or considering doing so, please don't and I'll assume you already know why at this point. Be the bigger person, break the ice, say hello first, it won't kill you. Let sleeping dogs lie, infact, let the dogs be in a coma they won't come out from so that your interaction with other humans can be meaningful and your growth won't be hindered as well.

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