Toke Makinwa has never been one of my
favorite celebrities but I was curious to reading her book "on becoming"
and when I did, to say I was inspired by it would be an understatement but
that's not what I'm here to talk about. One of the parts of the book that moved
me was when she explained how the two house helps her family had kept grudges
with each other which led to one not telling the other that the cooking gas was
faulty which eventually led to the house being burnt which in turn led to the
death of the maids and her parents therefore marking the beginning of a new
journey for her. That's why I'm here.
Keeping grudges is something I try not
to do though I would admit that I have kept grudges at different points in my
life but in the end, is it worth dying for? Of course not. When Mama Dayo died
(may her soul rest in peace), you'd think Mummy Bolu was her best friend
because she cried the most. Did I say cried? It was more like wailing but the funny
thing was that a lot of people begged Mummy Bolu to visit Mama Dayo while she
was in the hospital, she refused. Only death ended the grudge they both had and
there she was crying like never before so I assumed the pain of not reconciling
with Mama Dayo before her death was what hurt her more that the pain of her
death itself.
Again, I wonder, is it worth it still?
I've come to realise, though I've always known that life is too short so why
not try to live "peaceably" with all men? I know not everyone will
like everyone for good/bad reasons or no reasons at all but can you at least
try to be on good terms? Would you rather let someone die before realising that
the grudge wasn't worth it or be dead instead? I mean, I don't know, it just
hurts so much that a lot of us blow things out of proportion. You hear a lot of
people vowing not to speak to one another until death.
It's even funnier that some members of
the same family don't speak to each other not because they've not had the
opportunity, reason or means to but because they've internally or externally
vowed not to. If blood related people can't speak with each other, how much
more people who aren't, colleagues, friends or 'frenemies'? The list is endless.
The truth is, people will always hurt
you in a lot of ways knowingly or unknowingly and you will hurt a lot of people
too in the same vain if we want to be really honest with ourselves but does it
stop the sun from shining? Of course not. Neither does it stop things from
taking their normal course, the only thing that changes is you who's keeping it
and maybe the person you're keeping it with (if the person is aware that is).
"Hatred hurts the hater than the hated" was a quote I stumbled upon
many years ago and it never stops ringing in my head. I'm not going to start
talking about hating, bitterness and all of that but I'd like you to always
remember that shit happens, it's part of what makes life dramatic.
It's okay to reduce your interactions
with an individual as a result of a bad experience but grudges should be a no
no because it hinders you in a lot of ways - spiritually, physically,
emotionally, mentally, educationally, financially - I could go on and on. If
you've been keeping grudges or considering doing so, please don't and I'll
assume you already know why at this point. Be the bigger person, break the ice,
say hello first, it won't kill you. Let sleeping dogs lie, infact, let the dogs
be in a coma they won't come out from so that your interaction with other
humans can be meaningful and your growth won't be hindered as well.
Facebook - Odusola Aanuoluwapo
Instagram - @i_am_phleg
Twitter - @odusolar
BBM - 2BC07AB1
Instagram - @i_am_phleg
Twitter - @odusolar
BBM - 2BC07AB1
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