Random Stuff

The Good Morning Ish

Have you ever forgotten to greet your parents in the morning? Not like you didn’t see them but you were looking them in the eye but just forgot to say the words good morning. They didn’t say too because obviously they’re entitled to your greeting and you’re not to theirs. You remember this on your way to work but you know how awkward it'll sound texting them to say 'good morning ma/sir, sorry I forgot to greet you this morning, my brain skipped. Good morning, have a nice day' so you just let it slide instead and your parents begin to wonder if you’re a bastard but they don’t mention it until you get back home in the evening and still forget to greet them. They finally confirm that you’re indeed a bastard.

Scum Bae

You’ve been laughing at all the men are scum memes and stories and you think to yourself. If men are scum, my own man is not scum. You’re so sure of it you can almost testify in church like 'praise the Lord, I want to thank God for the salvation of my soul and also for my man that in this era of 'scumness', he is still not scum, praise the lord'. Next thing, he’s doing the do with someone else but you discover luckily and you wonder how long he’s been scum undercover.

Styleyy

There are days when you are expected to look all chic and stuff but deep down you just wanna wear something really comfortable which of course hardly fits the style of the day. So you just wear your really comfy stuff because you can and everybody be looking at you like 'what! are you homeless now?' but they don’t ask because they were still hanging out at yours the previous day. Knowing how chic you like to look, they ask instead 'who died?'

Spend This Money

There’s one spirit inside you that keeps saying 'you work too hard, spoil yourself' so you listen to it and buy yourself some clothes and shoes but the spirit keeps whispering it so you spend some time in a five star hotel enjoying your leave because you work too hard. You think about how much you’ve had to spend on other people and you agree that it’s true. Besides, you only have one life so you spend up. You get your bank statement for the month and you can’t close your mouth for five minutes because you suddenly remember you need to pay rent in exactly a month then you wish you could press ctrl z.

Anti-social

You might be a really withdrawn person naturally but as a result of your association with other people, you begin to get jovial, and all sorts of outgoing you never thought you'd be even in your dreams. Because of who you are naturally, once in a while you go back to being a person who doesn’t want to be around anyone, not because anyone died but that’s who you are and everyone starts to take offense but what can you say. You don’t just know how to tell them to blame it on the temperament. Annoying part is when you go out, accidentally meet people, chat and have a good time but you don’t think you should get anyone’s contact because you know you won’t keep in touch anyway so no point. God help you.

Wedding Bells

Everyone be asking you when you will get married and some people be so forward to even say "next year abi?" like they’ve seen it in a dream but lowkey you know you just want to eat, drink and sleep in peace for like two years then wake up to the world where everyone expects you to be married already. Sometimes though, when you see some couples, you’d be like aww so you start thinking about it but because food, sleep and zero drama is bae, you go back to default mode.

Money Lender

There’s a point in your life where everyone starts to ask you for money either to borrow them or dash them, it doesn’t mean you have made it. It means one of three things; your packaging skills are at its peak, you work with a reputable place or you pretend be rich. Whichever one it is, you can’t control but as you do your charity, take heed to the bibles warning which says "be careful in giving, lest you become poor". If you’re a money lender to people you can’t guarantee payback from, OYO is your case.

Mr Important

How can you collect a baes number and not call or text her that week, month or year, you then chat her up in two years expecting her to remember you, really? Guys will never cease to surprise me. A lot can happen in two years, she could have even died but there you are taking offense because someone didn’t remember that you collected her number two years ago. Just...nevermind, just go.

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